- — Take our free 2 minute quiz to figure out what kind of chance you have of winning your ex back. Today we are going to talk about what happens if you give a gift to your ex and if that's a good idea or not.
If you have read my articles on my website and seen my previous videos you would know that I am not a big fan of giving gifts to an ex, in fact I find that it can actually harm your chances more than help your chances and if you really think about it that really does make sense.
Often in when an ex is deciding whether or not they want to get back with you they're not going to basing that decision wholly on you giving them gifts, so it really makes no sense to do that if there's no advantage for you, but I wanted to dig a little deeper.
We often have people who say they needed to give their ex a gift in certain "situations" because of social custom and I am going to dispel some of those thoughts and give you some logical reasons why you should not be giving your ex a gift.
Situation #1 - Giving A Gift
The first situation I really want to talk about when it comes to gift - giving is holidays specifically holidays like, Christmas, Birthdays or even Valentines Day. Often social custom dictates that you need to give your significant other a gift in these types of circumstances, but lets pop on the breaks there for a second and actually explore that idea. When a breakup occurs it's often common for women to want to make themselves feel better. They get this wrapped idea that if they get their ex a gift it will not only make him feel better about the situation, but in turn him feeling better makes them. You shouldn't be giving a gift to someone if its about making you feel better. More than anything I think people use these holidays as an excuse of making themselves feel better. In the end all it ends up doing is overplaying your hand letting your ex know that you are still obsessing about them and thinking about them.
Situation #2 - If It's Okay To Give An Ex A Gift During The No Contact Rule
Now if you don't already know I am a big proponent of this idea of the no contact rule after a break no matter what the situation if you want to get your ex back or move on its like a reset button. Where I have clients who look for any excuse to break the No Contact Rule, and in fact up to 80% of clients fail their first attempt of the No Contact Rule. Where clients worry that doing the no contact rule is going to make your ex forget about you, make you less relevant. Where in fact the opposite is actually true.
When you send a gift to your ex what happens is you end up undermining the No Contact rule. Remember the no contact rule you are supposed to ignore your ex no matter for for a set period of time. Except in certain situations and if you want to know what those reasons are check out some of my other videos where I explain those details. Sending a gift is breaking the No Contact Rule,
Situation #3 - What Happens If You Give Your Ex A Gift When You are Vibing So Well
You are talking, things are going well from his perspective, things are going well from your perspective. Why not send a gift and introduce some attraction into this experience again? I'd like to reiterate that your ex is not going to be making the decision to take you back based on a gift. No gift, no matter how great is going to do that.
A client who had followed the No Contact Rule and had managed to get back in touch with her ex and made some great progress where they even shared messages saying how they missed each other. They got as far as meeting up and started going on dates again. Then the client decided to get this elaborate gift, a $500 guitar, her ex was so excited to get the gift and they even slept together that date. Then he vanished. Why did he do that?
Well now the ex knew not only could he get the girl if he wanted to, he also knew he could take advantage of that, so much so that after a month of not speaking he reaches out to her for what was a booty call. So her giving him a $500 guitar didn't help her get him back and he also didn't return the gift either.
All giving a gift in these situations does is prime him to take advantage of your kindness, something we do not want to do, you shouldn't reward a man for breaking up with you. Making your ex earn the right to asking you back by building attraction an organic way and is way more effective in getting an ex back.
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